it's been a damn long time since i wrote something..was initially gonna just do it in eBlogger, then cut-n-paste here...but my computer doesn't like eBlogger now...so...

it's mid-Spring 2005 right now...birthday has past, haven't done a lot besides school...somehow that seems like a good thing...everything else is in a form of stasis...no personal life, no social life...just school...

for those who wondered, yeah, I did ok for Winter...enough for EDB to favor my request a little more...so we'll see...

lately my eyes have been wandering again...hoping to find that kindred..or just to flame the jealousy of seeing others so happy together...

maybe it's just not my time...or maybe i'm just too blind to see...sorry lah, I really appreciate it, but i don't think i could return those feelings...

i'm still a hopeless romantic as much as i try not to be, but i also know i'm too scared of commitment...too many scars, too many failures...those do not make me stronger...

sometimes i'm glad i'm alone...i do not want to inflict the pain of bearing with me on someone else...i do not think i could love another whole-heartedly either...i've tried, but i was just fooling myself...or have i not tried enough? i wouldn't know now right?..unless they're willing to say something about that...

but i do believe that i try to be a good friend to everyone i know...to see people happy is my greatest hope...actually, my only hope...that may seem too altruistic for a person like me, or even weird considering i'm not a hopeful man...but that's the way i wish the world to be...

"Feel" by Robbie Williams

I just wanna feel real love,
Feel the home that I live in,
I got too much love,
Running through my veins, going to waste.

Currently Playing Fool Again 2000 Remix By Westlife see related